My divorced parents cant be civil for my sons | Lifestyle News

DEAR ABBY: My parents have been divorced for virtually 30 years. My father remains to be livid with my mom, and he or she is detached towards him. 

My son is about to graduate from high college, and each grandparents wish to attend the ceremony and dinner afterward.

However, Dad refuses to be in proximity, and even sight line, to my mother. He desires me to plan the day so there’s no probability they may cross paths — separate automobiles, separate routes, separate seats, separate images, separate meals at totally different eating places. 

My brother did this when his child graduated, and it was a lot of work. It is foolish. They are 75 years previous and will be in a position to sit down within the row from one another with out throwing a tantrum. I wish to hand out tickets to the ceremony and make one dinner reservation, and anybody who desires to come back and be civil is welcome. 

My son is upset with me as a result of his grandfather is guilt-tripping him about us not “making it possible” for him to be on the commencement. However, my son isn’t keen to take over the logistical strategizing for how my parents can enter and go away the building with no probability of interacting. 

Am I proper that that is foolish? For what it’s price, Mom doesn’t care somehow. — DAUGHTER WITH A DILEMMA

DEAR DAUGHTER: What your father refuses to acknowledge is that these particular events are NOT all about him and his grudge towards your mom, presumably for having the audacity to depart him. 

Because you might be unwilling to leap by means of hoops to accommodate his infantile, demanding habits, inform your father that if he can’t bury the hatchet on this big day and rejoice your son’s achievement, you’ll perceive and omit him from the visitor checklist. The selection is his to make — whether or not to rejoice his grandson’s milestone or proceed to feed his grudge.

DEAR ABBY: After his common job, my middle-aged son drives for a ride-sharing company late into the evening. He works exhausting as a result of he wants the additional money to help his spouse (who additionally works outdoors the home) and their three kids. 

I’m not rich, however after I seen his car was a very previous piece of junk with 300,000 miles on it and leaked oil and water, I gave him $25,000 to buy a new one. I requested him to not inform anybody besides his rapid household. Instead, he advised his spouse and kids that HE had bought the new car and made no point out of Grandpa (me). 

I hoped for a little goodwill from my grandchildren (who had been thrilled with the car) and perhaps even my daughter-in-law. Something like “Gee, thanks, Grandpa, that was thoughtful and generous of you.” Was I unsuitable? — NO THANKS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR NO THANKS: According to many religions, the best kind of charity is that which is nameless. Your reward to your son got here from the center, but it surely shouldn’t have been given anticipating to be thanked by your grandchildren. Your son is protected, because of your generosity, and that in itself ought to be your reward. 

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.