Ive been dating someone new for four months—but…
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been dating “Rita” for four months. We peck on the lips, hug and maintain palms, but now we have had only one real kiss so far. Rita was first married for 22 years to an emotionally abusive man and then remarried to a manipulative one. She said we have been going too fast and she wished to slow down. I understood and have exerted no stress on her.
Rita has cancelled dates for varied causes and gone silent for a day right here and there. She says she’s not speaking to anybody else, and neither am I. I’ve told her she is definitely worth the wait. I’ve fallen arduous for her and have severe intentions about her.
Rita says she has strong emotions for me and that I deal with her better than any man she has ever been concerned with, but she doesn’t know how to deal with the sentiments. How long ought to I give her to work out what she desires this relationship to be?
I’m not fearful about intercourse or something like that, but four months without even calling us “dating” or “girlfriend and boyfriend” has me fearful that I’m, for a lack of a better description, losing my time with her. What would you advise me to do? — TAKING IT SLOW IN VIRGINIA
DEAR TAKING IT SLOW: Continue permitting your relationship with Rita to develop slowly. The girl has had two unsuccessful marriages, so it’s no marvel she’s slow to commit. If, after a yr (eight months from now), Rita still feels uncomfortable calling you “boyfriend” or “companion,” revisit the dialog and determine then if you will have invested enough time.
DEAR ABBY: After studying so many horrible letters despatched to you from people about their mothers-in-law, I really feel compelled to write to you about mine. I met her 43 years in the past when I used to be dating her oldest son (now my husband). From the second we met, she handled me with caring, acceptance and love. She and my father-in-law raised 5 superb kids, and they handled their kids’s spouses as if we have been their own. She devoted her total life to caring for and nurturing her husband, kids, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
Unfortunately, we just misplaced this stunning girl at the age of 89 to a long and troublesome battle with Parkinson’s and dementia. We watched her “sparkle” slowly fade away, but we’ll carry her superb legacy with us always. I hope I might be half the MIL to my kids’s spouses that she was to me.
I also hope that all those who aren’t as fortunate as I used to be can discover some common ground with their mothers-in-law — particularly if there are kids concerned. I LOVE YOU, MOM! — FORTUNATE IN NEW YORK
DEAR FORTUNATE: Thank you for sharing this stunning tribute to a girl who made such a constructive distinction in the lives of those she touched. Not only have been you lucky to be a member of such a heat and loving household, but she was also fortunate to have a daughter-in-law such as you.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also identified as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
To order “How to Write Letters for All Occasions,” ship your title and mailing deal with, plus test or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby — Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 446, Kings Mills, OH 45034-0446. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)
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