I’ve fallen in love with my first cousin, can I…
DEAR ABBY: I am a man in his 60s who misplaced his spouse two years in the past to a coronary heart assault. I have fallen in love with my cousin, who is also in her 60s, divorced and a lawyer. Is it cheap for me to ask her to go with me on dates? Can a man marry his first cousin? — CONFUSED IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR CONFUSED: According to the free legal reference web site Justia (law.justia.com), first cousins are usually not listed among the kinds of forbidden marriages or civil unions in the state of New Jersey. In other phrases, yes, it appears to be legal where you live.
Even so, you will have to tread very rigorously right here. You say you’ve fallen in love with her, but are you sure she has romantic emotions for you? If not, you risk alienating a member of the family you deeply respect and admire.
DEAR ABBY: I have two brothers, “Derek” and “Paul,” who haven’t spoken to each other in more than six years. There was no falling-out; they’re merely unhealthy at speaking (even with other siblings). Last 12 months, Derek needed to get together with all the siblings, but Paul wouldn’t come (no purpose given).
I just discovered that Derek has terminal cancer. He doesn’t need Paul to know. I assume it has to do with Paul not wanting to get together, which damage Derek’s emotions. I consider Paul needs to be told about Derek’s condition. What is the best means to get Derek to rethink informing Paul of his diagnosis? — IN THE MIDDLE
DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: You and your loved ones have my sympathy for Derek’s condition. It’s not smart to assume something in a scenario like this. If you need to know why Derek is conserving his cancer a secret from Paul, ask him. Tell him you’re there for him and will help him break the news if he would really like.
Meanwhile, strategy Paul to plan a sibling get-together that would match his schedule. If he still refuses, it’s seemingly these two have issues you’re unaware of that transcend poor communication abilities.
DEAR ABBY: I lately took a good friend on a day journey. While I was driving, she took out her clippers and trimmed her fingernails in my car. Later, when she modified into her strolling footwear, she put the soles of these footwear on the sprint of my car to tie them. Thank goodness there wasn’t a pebble caught in the underside, or my dashboard would have been scratched in addition to the dust. I was dumbstruck that somebody would do this in another person’s good car. What is a great way to ask that these issues stop? I was unprepared and without phrases. — BOTHERED IN THE WEST
DEAR BOTHERED: The most efficient means to have delivered the message to your disrespectful good friend would have been to say, clearly and firmly, “Excuse me! I don’t want footprints on my dashboard or nail clippings in my car.” Follow it up by asking her to clean up both messes.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For practically 4 many years, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was based in 1956 by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.
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