I loaned a friend of mine thousands of dollars —…
DEAR ABBY: A yr in the past, a supposed friend of mine requested to borrow some money. Her husband had left the nation so he might renew his visa to come back and work. They have youngsters. The spouse’s car was repossessed while he was gone, and she had no manner to get to work. She borrowed $3,000 from me to get her car back. A few months later, she borrowed another $1,200. I was a idiot to give it to her, but I was pondering of her youngsters.
Her husband did make it back, and they’re both working now. I have texted her about the money she owes me, but she just ignores me. They had enough money to take the youngsters to Florida not too long ago. How do I get past the disappointment? I might actually use the money back. Do I just strive to let it go? — REGRETFUL LENDER
DEAR LENDER: You ought to have let it go the second you handed the money over. When a friend asks for money, it’s not often a loan. You ought to always think about it a present — and be pleasantly stunned if they ever pay you back. Despite her inexcusable habits, I’m sure this friend appreciates your kindness in saving her household from a distressing state of affairs. It was a good deed, and I’m sorry you’ve been repaid with silence.
DEAR ABBY: I misplaced my brother last yr to a mind aneurysm. We had been very close, and I am still struggling with it. His birthday was this month, and I spent the day honoring him. However, other members of the family are telling me I needs to be “over it” by now. Am I fallacious for still experiencing grief? I wasn’t conscious there may be a time restrict. — PROCESSING IT IN ALASKA
DEAR PROCESSING IT: Grief isn’t one thing that people “get over” like a case of measles or flu. When a beloved one dies, the pain of that loss can stay with us to a better or lesser degree as we alter to the ache we really feel inside. This doesn’t occur on anybody else’s timetable. Some people discover becoming a member of a grief help group helpful. Perhaps you need to think about it.
DEAR ABBY: The man I thought to be the love of my life dumped me more than 10 years in the past. He’s at the moment going through a divorce. We have been speaking for the past 4 years while I’ve been in a good relationship with somebody. This misplaced love has expressed his emotions of loss, but I can’t appear to calm down and categorical my emotions. He will soon be divorced, and I still don’t assume I ought to give him a likelihood to repeat the past. Are second possibilities well worth the risk? — STAYING IN FRIEND ZONE
This reader asks Dear Abby if she ought to give her former lover another likelihood. pitipat – stock.adobe.com
DEAR STAYING: Second chances are high sometimes well worth the risk, but not always. In your case, if you might be still “in a good relationship with someone” other than this ex, I’m not sure why you’d even think about rocking the boat. In fact, it could be best if you’ve got as little contact with your ex as potential. He was no good for you then, and he can only trigger hassle now.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For practically 4 many years, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was based in 1956 by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.
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