Our granddaughter reeks of pot when we pick her up…
DEAR ABBY: Our 24-year-old daughter, “Becca,” and her 26-year-old boyfriend, “Jason,” (the daddy of our 7-year-old granddaughter) lately purchased a home. Jason works only half time — if he works at all — and has no curiosity in a full-time job.
One issue, however, actually weighs closely on our minds. Whenever we pick up our granddaughter (which we do fairly often) we are virtually knocked over by the scent of marijuana in their home. My husband and I’ve voiced our issues about this more than once, to no avail. Our other kids have talked about the strong odor in her home as properly.
My husband and I can’t stand the thought of our granddaughter residing in that setting, but we don’t know what we ought to do about it. Abby, what do you advise? — WORRIED ABOUT THE WEED IN INDIANA
DEAR WORRIED: You and your husband ought to continue having a severe dialog with your daughter about this. Tell her you scent a strong marijuana odor when you pick your granddaughter up, and that you might be anxious about her inhaling the smoke, because it’s unhealthy for kids. Perhaps she and her boyfriend can select to smoke exterior their home when they really feel the need to get high.
Inform them that if the kid ever inhales enough secondhand smoke to take a look at constructive for THC, there may very well be severe legal repercussions (past the fact that — as you most likely know — hashish use is still unlawful in Indiana).
DEAR ABBY: My husband, who is 86, has an oblique communication model. He’ll say one thing like, “I need to do some pruning on the climbing rose, but it’s too high for me to reach.” I ask particular questions to decide what precisely, if something, he needs me to do, but his responses are often obscure. An instance: I’ll ask, “Are you asking me to set up the ladder for you?” to which he may reply, “I can’t reach the top of the roses.”
No matter how many questions I ask, he resists giving me a direct reply. This frustrates me, and it frustrates him that I don’t get his which means immediately. Is there something I can do to cut to the chase so I’ll know what he’s asking me to do? I’m completely happy to help him; I just need to know what he needs without the interrogation. — VERBAL DANCE PARTNER
This lady asks Dear Abby how to deal with her husband’s oblique communication model. Getty Images/iStockphoto
DEAR PARTNER: What you’ve got described is regular in households or areas (including East and Southeast Asia and components of Europe) where people are taught to prioritize the consolation of others. In those cultures, it’s thought of impolite and aggressive to make a direct request, even of a cherished one.
Because he might have realized these values from his mother and father, know that this could also be a lifelong behavior that could be onerous for him to break. If you ask him instantly to change his methods, he might regard that as overbearing. Fortunately, you appear to have largely cracked the code. You know his offhand remarks are literally requests, so do your best to help in methods that make sense to you. If you sometimes don’t ship precisely what he’s wanting for, it’s up to him to make clear.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For almost 4 many years, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was based in 1956 by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.
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