Critics killed Tom Cruises awful Digger — and…
Depending on who you ask, critics such as myself are either completely irrelevant relics of the past like almanacs or sundials — Hollywood’s dream state of affairs — or snarling Godzillas who go around crushing poor, harmless motion pictures to death with relish.
Well, it was clear which actuality was true last weekend.
After some scathing reviews, Tom Cruise’s “Digger” grew to become the flop heard ‘around the world. Tom tanked so arduous, his wreck is on monitor to be one of the most important flops of all time.
Much as I take pleasure in quoting myself, my favourite line really got here from my very affordable pal David Rooney of the Hollywood Reporter.
Tom Cruise’s “Digger” is a large flop. Warner Bros. Pictures via AP
“You watch in excruciating weariness as it disappears up its own ass and then realize to your dismay that there’s another eardrum-shattering hour left to endure,” wrote King Ghidorah, excuse me, David.
After the critiques dropped, “Digger”’s home box workplace projections dove off a cliff like Agent Ethan Hunt: $20 million (dire to start with) slipped to $15 million to its eventual unhappy, unhappy $8 million. Even fellow failure “Masters of the Universe” opened to $29 million.
Keep in thoughts that “Digger” — a message-heavy meta satire from the director of “Birdman” about an oil tycoon dealing with an environmental disaster — reportedly value between $135 million and $180 million to make. That’s a staggering funds for what it’s. Less arthouse, more art-mansion.
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Even so, there may be a palpable sense that Hollywood is shocked that critics would do this to Tom Cruise, who they have an inclination to play good with. They’re even more flabbergasted that our kvetching labored. Cruise ought to be critic-proof, they determine. To them, in a just world, all the things ought to be.
These days Herculean efforts are taken to circumvent the trustworthy opinions of skilled reviewers.
The stars go movie cute videos making pizzas at the New York Times.
They sit down on comfortable podcasts like “Good Hang with Amy Poehler” and “Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend” and chat for an hour about their childhoods and first jobs.
“Digger” grossed just $8 million domestically on its opening weekend. Warner Bros. Pictures via AP
Most nauseatingly, my Page Six Hollywood colleague Tatiana Siegel reported that “Digger” had a particular trailer launch event to butter up influencers. Attendees received to pose for a skilled picture with Cruise. Naturally those freeloaders all assume “Digger” is better than “The Godfather.”
See? Tom and Co. did all the things proper to defang Manohla Dargis of the New York Times, Kyle Smith of the Wall Street Journal, Owen Gleiberman of Variety and David Erlich of IndieWire. And little outdated me, of course.
Whoops. Didn’t work. Those 5 very different critics all hated it.
Now, Hollywood is manically scrambling to repair the catastrophe — kinda like Digger does! But that’s mission: unattainable.
The movie held an influencer event. Keizo Mori/UPI/Shutterstock
Warner Bros. launched a determined new clip seizing on the film’s divisiveness and imploring audiences to “decide for yourself.” The subtext being, “…since we weren’t able to decide for you.”
And Anne Hathaway went on the cinephile web site Letterboxd, and filed her first-ever review. Welcome to my profitable subject, Anne! Soon you can also have a fourth-floor walkup with one cupboard.
“I loved this brilliant movie,” the film star wrote. “It’s worth making the time [to] see and decide for yourself what you make of it. For me? 10/10.”
See? There’s that patronizing phrase again. The notion of critics swaying public opinion is completely repulsive to these people.
Could Hathaway’s ardour come from the fact that she’ll star with Cruise next yr in “Days of Thunder 2”? I wouldn’t dare counsel such a factor.
Anne Hathaway reviewed “Digger” on Letterboxd. WireImage
And oddly Jane Fonda jumped in the combat. Anti-critic activism, maybe?
“The film allows us to witness another side of Tom Cruise’s courage,” Fonda wrote about him on Instagram like he’s Nelson Mandela. “It was a big, brave risk for him to take on this role and he was very good in it and very brave.”
Eh. Climbing the Burj Khalifa is courageous. Slapping on prosthetics and talking in a hokey Texas accent in a movie from the director of “The Revenant” is shameless Oscar looking.
Jane Fonda also spoke out in favor of the film. Getty Images
Cruise is every bit as clear about his starvation for a statuette (he’s never gained an Academy Award) as Timothée Chalamet was during “Marty Supreme,” besides people really favored that film and it made money.
Maybe he’ll handle a pity nomination as a gesture against the cranky critics — the industry coming together to rebuke the horrible monsters who spend years seeing, pondering and analyzing all of their work. But he gained’t win.
We’re not all unhealthy, you realize.
Like we did with “Marty” in 2025, reviewers have helped lots of motion pictures that had been hardly sure issues this yr: “The Invite,” “Coyote vs. Acme,” “Project Hail Mary” and “Obsession,” among others.
But not Cruise’s broken-down vehicle, which sure is struggling because of us. Don’t go digging critics’ graves just yet.
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