Exclusive | Meet Generation ‘I Do … Not’: Young…
Becoming any individual’s spouse isn’t one thing New Yorker Karly B., 29, ever needed for herself.
Happily in love with her boyfriend of 9 years? Check.
Marrying him? Absolutely not.
That’s no reflection on Matt H., 30, according to Karly, who works for a PR and branding company and requested that the couple’s last names not be used. Before the pair met, the 29-year-old had always made it a level to keep away from romantic involvements with the type of males who needed wedding ceremony bells and children.
“It was a very prominent ground rule for me before entering any sort of relationship,” the East Village dweller told The Post. “I don’t necessarily need a contract that tells me my status with my partner or tells me that I love him more than I would without one. I know exactly how we feel about each other, and I feel good just with that.”
While so many of Karly’s single-and-searching counterparts swipe endlessly on relationship apps hoping for their happily-ever-after, she was “never the girl who makes a Pinterest board for her wedding or dreams about what it would look like.”
Putting a ring on it, locking issues down, heading to metropolis corridor for a piece of paper — not for Karly whose mother and father are divorced but aren’t the rationale she doesn’t need marriage. When the Pennsylvania natives, who met on Tinder, are questioned about plans to get hitched, the 29-year-old is brutally sincere with them.
“I usually say, ‘That’s not something I want for myself’ or ‘We’re never going to do that,’” Karly admitted to The Post. “I think, me saying that, that makes them think that there’s something wrong with our relationship, but no. I made the decision, he’s along with it, and that’s fine.”
Today’s younger ladies, like Jess Iacullo, who retains a framed picture of her grandparents’ wedding ceremony day on show in her home (above), no longer really feel the need to say, “I do.” Stephanie Strasburg for NY Post
Karly is among a slew of ladies her age, either single or in a monogamous heteroinappropriate relationship, who are adamant about never marrying and are thought-about the “I don’t” technology. Nearly half of U.S. ladies now say they don’t suppose getting married is important for a fulfilled life, according to a 2023 Pew Research Center examine — giving the side-eye to a custom they really feel no longer serves them.
“There’s a wave of women either rethinking marriage or skipping it altogether — and it’s getting louder every year. It’s about autonomy, peace and building lives around what feels right, not what tradition dictates,” relationship coach Dr. Jacquie Del Rosario told The Post.
When relationship for as long as they’ve, Karly said she and Matt have been through it all together: long-distance relationship, faculty commencement and leaving jobs at the same time. “But still, nine years, l don’t want to get married, and he knows that,” she said. Even though, she admitted, he would love to — if she agreed.
“I’m the one who’s pushing this harder than he is, but he’s known since day one. If there’s ever even a thought that he wants marriage and wants a family beyond what I can give him, then we would need to break up and figure that out in our own ways,” Karly said.
Considering today’s technology of younger, unbiased ladies is surpassing males in incomes faculty levels, shopping for properties on their own, which has almost doubled over the last 40 years, and attaining C-suite positions at Fortune 500 Companies, which has elevated from 15% to 29% over the past eight years, the million-dollar query stays: Do ladies benefit at all from marriage in 2025?
“There is evidence out there that men do actually gain more health and emotional benefits from marriage, as they usually receive more support than they give out,” Mike Kocsis, a hormone health skilled at Balance My Hormones, told The Post. “Without balanced responsibilities, marriage can feel more beneficial for men.”
Jess Iacullo, 30, couldn’t agree more.
She and her boyfriend, Ross Antonich, 32, have been relationship for 5 years, are head over heels for each other, but she doesn’t see a wedding ceremony in their future.
Iacullo (above) is among a slew of millennial ladies who are rolling their eyes at the old style custom of changing into somebody’s spouse. Stephanie Strasburg for NY Post
As the oldest daughter of three, the New Jersey native, who owns her own social media advertising and marketing and content creation company, told The Post that growing up, she’s always been unbiased and career-oriented, never giving relationships or marriage a lot thought, despite being raised by fortunately married mother and father.
“I never was, like, ‘Oh, I’ll wear this wedding dress, or I can’t wait to have a big wedding.’ Instead, I would watch rom-coms and think, ‘I want that career. I want her closet,’” she shared with The Post.
Iacullo (proper) and her boyfriend, Ross Antonich (left), are fortunately in love but don’t ever need to get hitched. Stephanie Strasburg for NY Post
And now in her 30s, Iacullo shudders at the archaic idea of saying, “I do,” even to a man she loves, because she believes that changing into a spouse subconsciously forces ladies to give up a half of themselves.
“I feel like I have such a rooted self-identity. I don’t think I have witnessed many marriages where the woman doesn’t lose herself in the identity of her marriage. Instead of [remaining] an ‘I,’ she becomes a ‘we,’” the 30-year-old explained.
Despite understanding they need to spend their lives together, Iacullo told The Post that she and her musician boyfriend, who both at the moment live in Pittsburgh but are in no rush to transfer in together, have been on the “no marriage” bandwagon for the length of their relationship.
Or, at least, Ross has acquiesced to his companion’s decisions. “Marriage appears to be the best when the parties involved really want it and each other,” he told The Post. “Its necessity and significance always dwindle when that is not the case.”
The couple have been together for 5 years, live individually, and are more than glad with their scenario. Stephanie Strasburg for NY Post
Iacullo explained that, instead, “the conversation that we have about our future is [more] about how we see each other’s careers and how we see our future together in that sense, which I feel matters more than, ‘OK, when do we want to get engaged or get married?’”
Iacullo said that, regardless of how far ladies have come in society, she feels that once a couple enters husband and spouse territory, it’s exhausting for them to keep away from falling into stereotypical gender roles.
“Some men really want a girl who will cook and clean for them. So they want to date their mom? I can’t even imagine being with someone who would expect those things,” the entrepreneur revealed.
It appears that ladies these days need equal partnership, not a man-child husband they’ve to take care of.
“Our generation has more freedom and more options than our parents ever dreamed of. Economic independence means nobody has to marry for survival,” Del Rosario identified.
“The emotional labor women saw their moms shoulder — organizing households, managing everyone’s happiness — doesn’t look appealing if it’s not balanced. Nobody wants to ‘lose themselves’ to unpaid work or someone else’s dreams. If marriage is on the table, it’s going to be on equal terms, without sacrificing selfhood,” the skilled explained to The Post.
Iacullo and Antonich pose together in her house. Stephanie Strasburg for NY Post
But not all males agree.
A 33-year-old single male New Yorker who most popular to stay nameless told The Post, “I perceive why ladies today really feel like marriage doesn’t benefit them anymore, but it’s disheartening to many of us good guys who need an equal partnership and would never anticipate our wives to be a ‘mother’ determine to us.
“I grew up watching my parents’ love for one another, and I always yearned for that type of bond. For me, marriage feels like a way to make our love official and celebrate it in front of our closest friends and family. Sure, it’s a piece of paper … but one that holds a lot of weight for me and I would hope for my future wife.”
Chloe Bow, 33, closely disagrees. After breaking off an engagement to a long-term companion, she realized she didn’t need to sacrifice her selfhood for marriage.
As troublesome a determination as it was to break up with her ex, whom she had identified and dated throughout her 20s, Bow ended her engagement to discover happiness, which, as a single individual, “has been so rewarding and fulfilling,” she said.
Chloe Bow (above) finds her single life to be more peaceable than any relationship she’s been in.
“I think we as women, especially millennial women, have been fed this narrative [through movies and the media] of the girl and the guy getting together, they get married, they have kids, they get the house, and they live happily ever after,” she explained to The Post. “What I realized was that it [marriage] wasn’t really translating to my happiness, and I think it would be more of a hindrance.”
The former social worker-turned-content-creator admitted that ending her engagement made her query whether or not she needed to get married at all.
Bow says her life feels fulfilled without a man in it.
“The more that I spent time leaning into these conversations, talking to more women, especially listening to women online, I was, like, ‘OK, there’s a whole movement of this happening, and I feel like I’m aligned with this way of thinking. I don’t want marriage. This doesn’t seem like it’s going to benefit me,’” the Toronto resident explained.
“I just can’t really remember a time when I was consistently happy, comfortable, relaxed and enjoying my life while I was in a relationship or dating,” she admitted to The Post. “There was always a fear, a stress, an annoyance, or a frustration, and it just never felt as peaceable as it was just focusing on me.“
These days, Bow’s happiness stems from the unbiased life she created for herself — and her new pet.
“One thing I’ve been practicing is just complete, radical acceptance of myself. Not having any shame, not feeling bad about any of my decisions, just trying to accept myself and enjoy my life,” which she told The Post would possibly embrace a cozy night time in, spending time with mates, or touring the world.
“If I’m lucky enough to become an old woman and look back on my life, I don’t want to waste a minute worrying that I didn’t enjoy it.”
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