How should I deal with my hurtful mother-in-law?…
DEAR ABBY: My relationship with my mother-in-law has been rocky for the 9 years I’ve been married to her daughter. She has been very hurtful at occasions, saying issues like, “You’re not welcome [in her house].” She has never accepted me.
She was not too long ago unable to keep within the boundaries my spouse and I set with her when she visited us. We had requested her to keep it gentle and just get pleasure from lunch together, but she began telling us my spouse should apologize to her niece over a trivial misunderstanding. When I requested her to depart, she began crying and said, “I’m so disappointed that my first-born married such an awful human being.” Advice? — DISRESPECTED IN RHODE ISLAND
DEAR DISRESPECTED: Clearly, you don’t like your mother-in-law, and the sentiments are mutual. She was incorrect to cross the boundary by criticizing your spouse during that lunch, but you will have overstepped by ordering her to depart. Depending upon how close a relationship your spouse would really like to have with her mom, some classes with a licensed household therapist could also be in order if the three of you’re keen.
DEAR ABBY: When I was invited to see the delivery of my great- grandchild, I said yes. I was told if my granddaughter didn’t give delivery by the 14th of the month at the latest, the doctor would induce on that day. I forgot it may occur on any day. I went out of city on Friday the eleventh, which is when my granddaughter called to let me know she was on her means to the hospital.
I missed the delivery of my great-granddaughter! I understand it’s my fault, and I am heartbroken because I can never get that back. Also, my granddaughter is no longer talking to me. I’ve tried calling her, but she received’t reply. I really feel so horribly unhappy, like I’ve made the error of a lifetime. Please advise. — TRIPPED UP IN COLORADO
DEAR TRIPPED UP: While your absence at your great-grandchild’s delivery was unlucky, it isn’t the error of a lifetime. You are human, and human beings make errors. That your granddaughter received’t converse to you is regrettable, but hopefully she’ll mellow after she receives your large bouquet of flowers and abject letter of apology.
DEAR ABBY: My son-in-law says I am lazy and delinquent because I use the drive-up grocery option. I told him that when I use the drive-up, I do less impulse shopping for and save time and money. Am I incorrect? — INSULTED IN WISCONSIN
DEAR INSULTED: Of course you aren’t incorrect. What you’re doing works for you, and you shouldn’t be criticized for it. Ask your self why your passive-aggressive son-in-law feels the need to put you down. Is there one thing else going on in your relationship with him … or in his head?
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also identified as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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