I am a third wheel to my boyfriend and his married…
DEAR ABBY: I am a man whose long-distance boyfriend of one yr has a married feminine best pal. (She’s his boss.) She is also a tobacco-addicted narcissist who drinks a lot. They chat on the cellphone and textual content for hours every day because, as he places it, “she can’t be alone.” I suppose she makes use of him to compensate for her insecurities. I also suppose she’s a unhealthy affect on him.
We see each other only every other week because of the bodily distance between us, and then only for a day and a half. Last weekend while I was there, she texted him and requested if we’d come spend the night and drink with her. I told him completely not! I am protecting of our time together and have no need to spend any time with her.
The closeness they share actually bothers me. They have been mates for 20 years, but their relationship feels weirdly close to me. It’s virtually like a pseudo romance. I don’t know what to do. I actually love this man, but I often really feel like a third wheel. We discuss every evening, and he mentions her every single evening. I’m drained of it. When he mentions her identify, I bodily cringe.
I have tried speaking to him about my emotions regarding this, but he isn’t in speaking about it. He defends her adamantly. What ought to I do? — FEELING STUCK IN INDIANA
DEAR FEELING STUCK: Your boyfriend’s relationship with this lady predates the one he has with you by 19 years. If he was involved about your emotions or in speaking about their relationship, he would make some adjustments. My advice is to discover another boyfriend who reveals more consideration.
DEAR ABBY: My ex-partner has a canine, “Butch,” who is 9 years outdated. I lived with Butch for virtually three years. Butch is a rescue who has some trauma from his earlier life. He’s shy and timid and doesn’t like kids or vacuum cleaners.
I also have a canine who lived with me during the time we lived with Butch. Last yr, while our home was being vacuumed by a housekeeper, Butch bit her on her calf. I was there along with my canine. I attended to the girl and made sure she was OK. I also put Butch in a separate room. When my accomplice got here home, I told him what had occurred, but he appeared unfazed.
Fast-forward six months: My accomplice and I have parted methods, and he determined to ditch Butch so he can journey and play pickleball with his new sufferer. He gave Butch to his niece, who has two small kids, without disclosing the canine’s biting historical past. In fact, he told his household that my canine bit the housekeeper, not Butch. I was current when the chew occurred, and he’s mendacity.
I have told the household that I have “concerns” for the kids and Butch’s destiny ought to he chew again. His former proprietor won’t own up to the reality. I would love your take on this ticking time bomb. — KNOWS THE TRUTH IN MICHIGAN
DEAR KNOWS: Contact your ex-boyfriend’s niece immediately and inform her that Butch presents a hazard to her kids. If she doesn’t imagine you, offer to have the housekeeper who was bitten vouch for your honesty. As a lot as I like canine, that one doesn’t belong in a family with kids.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also identified as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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