Ive told her to lose weight, but she wont…
DEAR ABBY: My pal of many years, whom I take into account to really be half of the household, has made food the only factor that makes her comfortable. Besides my husband, she’s all I’ve left. She went to a doctor a couple years in the past who told her she must lose weight, but she ended up gaining more.
I’ve tried speaking to her, but she says I’m preaching to the choir. It doesn’t help that her husband is also overweight. They take pleasure in eating out always. She has many bodily issues fallacious with her, most of which might be helped drastically by shedding at least 80 kilos.
I need to write her a letter and inform her how exhausting it’s watching her kill herself by not attempting to help herself. She has a coronary heart downside, and the additional weight definitely shouldn’t be serving to it. She has a number of other issues, too. She has aches and pains in every single place — her knees damage, her toes damage and her liver shouldn’t be doing nicely from all the medicines. Getting rid of most of the surplus weight would undoubtedly help her get around and make her more healthy. It most seemingly would even get her off some of the medicines.
I want I might write her and inform her that her daughter, son, husband, brother, sister-in-law, and particularly her 7-year-old granddaughter and I actually need her and need her to be around. Talking to her doesn’t help, so do you assume a letter can be inappropriate? — STATING MY CASE IN IDAHO
DEAR STATING: I’m going to assume that you may have already told this pal all the issues you may have in your letter to me. I’m not sure how helpful it could be to put those ideas in a letter. Your pal and her husband have a ritual they observe together — eating out. Unless both of them are prepared to acknowledge it’s inflicting critical health issues and are prepared to do one thing about it, nothing will change.
There is a group that has been talked about in this column many occasions called Overeaters Anonymous. It is a self-help group with a long and profitable historical past. In these conferences there may be no weighing, no shaming, no dues or charges for members. (They are self-supporting through their own contributions.) While it won’t be one thing your pal is prepared to explore, it’d make you’re feeling better to counsel this to her if she’s unaware of it. The web site is oa.org.
DEAR ABBY: My mom has accused me of eradicating personal papers from her file cupboard. I’ve never gone into her file cupboard, nor have I ever eliminated any papers. This accusation is extraordinarily hurtful. It has strained our relationship. I place great emphasis on honesty and integrity. I’m now contemplating taking a polygraph take a look at to validate my protection. Should I comply with through or just let it go? — HONEST DAUGHTER
DEAR DAUGHTER: Let it go. A polygraph take a look at has a extensive margin of error, so it wouldn’t present conclusive proof anyway. Instead, strive to perceive that your mom’s accusation might come from frustration with herself at having misplaced the papers. She was fallacious to take it out on you, but please show that you will be more forgiving than she has been.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also recognized as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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