My broke dad keeps giving money to those in need…
DEAR ABBY: My father, who is retired, has always had a big coronary heart and virtually no regard for himself. Anytime he meets somebody in a powerful state of affairs, he does whatever he can to make it simpler, giving freely of his time and assets without asking for reimbursement.
This was a big downside when my dad and mom had been married because he saved giving away the grocery money or loaning our household car to people who didn’t return it, but at least he had an income back then.
Now Dad resides on a fixed income and wants to watch out if he’s going to make it to the end of the month.
Recently he shared that he’s been serving to the household who lives upstairs, quietly giving them money for rent and groceries and once for a car restore.
He has been paying his own bills with a credit card that is now maxed out, and he can’t make rent.
He doesn’t appear to perceive that if he pays his neighbors’ rent, he’ll lose his own residence. I can help him out this month, but I don’t know what to do for the long time period.
If I give him money, he’ll give it away. We made him a price range that he ignores. He’s been to financial counseling many instances.
It only helps until the next time he meets somebody in need. He volunteers a lot at a homeless shelter, so he meets many people in need. I don’t need him to end up in the shelter too, but how do I help? — HELPING THE HELPER IN MISSISSIPPI
DEAR HELPING: If you’ve got an attorney who understands elder law, contact that individual and clarify your fears about what goes on. Your father could need a conservatorship to guarantee that his rent is paid and his requirements are lined. If you would fill that function, it might be perfect. If you can’t, then somebody could have to be appointed. For the explanations you talked about, your father ought to no longer be left to his own devices.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a member of a small group of girls who have traveled together internationally in the last few years. One individual in the group searches for lodging (which she loves to do). Once we agree on the lodging, this individual books the reservations, and we each pay her our share of the lodging. We guide our own flights individually.
I needed to back out of a current journey due to sickness and notified the group three months before the scheduled journey. When I requested the members of the group to refund me the money I had already paid toward lodging and car rental (close to $800), they refused, saying their bills had been now more than they’d deliberate and it was not their fault that I couldn’t go on the journey. They had a tough time understanding that I’m now subsidizing their trip and why I might need any money returned to me. Am I being grasping? — STAYING HOME IN THE EAST
DEAR STAYING: No, you aren’t being grasping. You are being taken benefit of, which implies you need to give critical consideration to whether or not you ever need to journey with this bunch again. In the meantime, if you understand of anybody who has the journey bug and $800, maybe you may offer them as a substitute. That method, you get your money back, and the remaining of the group will get their trip without paying further.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also recognized as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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