My father is trying to destroy my other family…
DEAR ABBY: My father and I’ve had a contentious relationship since I used to be a teenager. Despite being raised in his home, my values are different from his, and he takes it personally. I left home as soon as I used to be outdated enough and have lived the best way I need since then.
After a couple of years of not seeing each other, my father requested if we may very well be in more common contact. We tried that, and it went badly. Every dialog ended in a combat. When I told him we needed a family counselor to help us discover common ground, he completely refused. Now he’s telling our relations that I cut off contact with him and am conserving him from my children. This isn’t true. I wished us to work with a mediator to discover a more healthy approach of speaking with each other. I’m no longer sure it is lifelike.
He is involving my siblings, aunts and cousins and making them select sides. How do I shield the relationships I’ve with the remaining of my family if he retains performing like a jerk? For what it’s value: My life is fairly boring. I’m 30 and married, and I’ve a faculty degree and a stable job. We live in a home in a good neighborhood and watch our youngsters play soccer on the weekends. — MY OWN MAN IN MISSOURI
DEAR OWN MAN: How has that isolation plan of your father’s been working? Do you’ve gotten good relationships with the remaining of your family? If you haven’t already, give your relations chapter and verse about your father’s controlling habits. Make it clear to them that you want to to have a relationship with your dad, but unless he is prepared to settle for skilled mediation, you can’t have one. You have all the ingredients for a completely happy life. It will likely be yours if you may resist your father’s coercion.
DEAR ABBY: My mom handed away lately, and my brother, who lives close by, is clearing out her home. He requested me if there was something I wished from the home, and I told him I wished the pictures of my kids when they have been younger, which I had despatched to my mom over the years, as I live abroad. I steered he ship them to my daughter in New York, as she will likely be coming to go to me in a few months and can carry them.
My brother mailed the images, and my daughter opened the bundle. Upon seeing the images, she determined she wished to keep those she is in and to go to her sister (also in New York) those she is in. She claims they’re hers. I say they don’t seem to be. She was only meant to be a messenger to carry them to me. I supplied to make copies or to scan them and electronic mail them to her. She is now not talking to me. Who is proper, and what ought to I do? — PICTURE-LESS IN ISRAEL
DEAR PICTURE-LESS: You are proper. As you acknowledged, the images might have been copied for your daughters if they wished. That your daughter is no longer talking to you over this tells me there could also be other family points between you and your daughters. If I have been you, I’d take this into consideration when drafting my will.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also recognized as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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