Andrew McCarthy breaks down why men in midlife…

A few years back, Andrew McCarthy was having a dialog with his then 20-year-old son, Sam, who was telling him a humorous story about a buddy’s relationship life. Then the boy made a remark that struck a nerve.

“You don’t really have any friends, do you, Dad?”

In the times that adopted, McCarthy — who rose to fame in the Nineteen Eighties as a key member of the Brat Pack, starring in movies such as “Pretty in Pink” and “St. Elmo’s Fire” — couldn’t stop pondering about the “slightly embarrassing” remark.

Andrew McCarthy’s son made a quip about his lack of pals that made him take stock. Jesse Dittmar

“I kind of felt exposed in a certain way,” the 63-year-old told The Post. “Kids will just say what they perceive to be the truth, and attention must be paid, you know?”

He realized that, amidst work and household, he’d let many close pals fall by the wayside and hadn’t modeled relationships properly for his son. 

The dialog led him to attain out to an outdated good friend close to Baltimore he hadn’t spoken with in years, rent a car and drive to see the man. When McCarthy arrived, he discovered his once extroverted buddy holed up his house, remoted by extreme back issues and surrounded by Amazon packages.

McCarthy (middle with Jon Cryer and Molly Ringwald) starred in some of the most iconic movies of the Nineteen Eighties, including “Pretty in Pink” (pictured). ©Paramount/Courtesy Everett Collection

“[I] just sort of realized instantly, ‘Wow, you’ve really been struggling with something,’” McCarthy said. “If I had been doing my friendly duty, I would have known and he would have felt he could open up to me.”

The encounter ended up being just the start of a 10,000-mile, 22-state street journey to go to long misplaced buddies and converse with strangers about their own friendships. 

McCarthy chronicles the journey in his new e book, “Who Needs Friends: An Unscientific Examination of Male Friendship Across America.” Here, he talks to The Post about the journey.

McCarthy (top proper) and his cohorts becamed recognized as the Brat Pack. “St. Elmo’s Fire” starred many Brat Packers. Pictured are Judd Nelson (from left), Ally Sheedy, Rob Lowe, Mare Winningham (obscured), Emilio Estevez and Demi Moore. ©Columbia Pictures/Courtesy Everett Collection

Would your son ever have requested your spouse about not having any pals?

No, my spouse’s the most social individual you’ve ever met.

Why do you assume this has change into such a factor for men in midlife — to not have pals or to not keep in contact with people?

Women know the worth of friendship, I believe, more than men do. We’re afraid of the simple intimacy that girls are type of prepared to go to instantly … And I believe he notion of intimacy for men is, you already know, they equate that with some variety of inappropriateity, and that will be a horrifying factor for heteroinappropriate guys. And I believe the vulnerability, which is required to be a good friend, will be equated with weak spot — and the one factor a man can’t be is weak. All the cliches I believe are completely true … and the thought of being an American man has modified so a lot over time. In the nineteenth century, Abraham Lincoln and Joshua Speed, these men had been actually intimate. You look at outdated letters between men, and they had been very affectionate and loving and effusive. Even bodily, there was a lot of intimacy between men. And then in some way, by the time John Wayne and the Second World War occurred, being an American man had change into, ‘You carry your own water, you pull your hat down, you don’t speak about it. You’re stoic and, you already know, suck it up.’

McCarthy married Dolores Rice in 2011. Stephen Lovekin

Which of your conversations with strangers caught in your thoughts the most?

These two outdated cops I met in Ohio had been actually unbelievable to me. I met them in an Arby’s or one thing, some fast-food joint related to a gasoline station. They had been the type of guys that I’d have, in my vanity or whatever, just dismissed as a couple of geezers sitting around having a espresso. And I went up to them and began speaking to them, and they had been very welcoming instantly. The degree of unapologetic intimacy that that they had with each other was virtually alien to me, and so touching and beneficiant … They said, “You know, we started telling each other, ‘I love you.’ Like I tell my wife and my kids, I love them. Why can’t I tell my best bud of 60 years [that] I love them? It’s not a inappropriate thing.” It was just that variety of tenderness and openness and prepared to acknowledge how important their pals are.

Do you have got many close friendships that you’ve maintained with people that you’ve been in motion pictures with?

There’s heaps of people I’ve recognized for a long, long time, and I’m very pleasant with them, and I contemplate them pals, but they aren’t intimate pals. Most of my pals are [outside of Hollywood]. Anyone who is working on a job, you have got a work relationship and you develop a friendship, and most of them don’t, you already know, don’t continue on after that.

McCarthy’s new e book is out March 24.

It’s such a weak e book in some methods — admitting you’ve misplaced contact with pals and perhaps you haven’t been a great good friend. Did you battle at all with opening up like this?

You know, I believe if you’re not going to show up on the web page, how are you able to ask another person to show up for you? All you need is for somebody to start studying and nodding and establish.

We present you with the trending topics. Get the best latest Entertainment news and content on our web site daily.