Girlfriend vents about visiting boyfriends…
Run for the hills.
When a couple will get married, there are clearly sacrifices both sides have to make — and spending time with in-laws may be one of them.
But one girlfriend discovered herself sacrificing every single weekend or high quality future-in-law time before she even walked down the aisle.
Unsure if she was in the improper, the lady took to the r/AmITheJerk discussion board on Reddit to clarify her state of affairs, which, to be frank, would make anybody in her sneakers go bananas.
“I have spent roughly 40 of the last 52 weekends at my boyfriend’s parents’ house. I counted because I needed to be sure I wasn’t dramatizing before opening my mouth. We’ve been together for three years and somewhere around month fourteen this just became the standing plan without anyone officially deciding it: Friday evening, drive 45 minutes out, eat dinner with his parents, watch something on TV, sleep there, spend Saturday doing whatever his mom has planned, drive home Sunday afternoon,” she wrote.
This was an excessive amount of high quality time for one individual. Monkey Business – stock.adobe.com
The unique poster emphasised that his mother and father are genuinely good people and this rant isn’t personal, but as a 31-year-old lady, she has her own life that she doesn’t need to restrict to weekdays.
“I raised it carefully about two months ago, framed it as a personal need rather than a complaint. I said I’d love to visit every other weekend, maybe once a month during busy periods, and that the current frequency was slowly draining me. He seemed to hear it. I thought we were good,” she continued.
She said the future-in-law sightings eased up for perhaps three weeks before resuming as that they had before this annoyed girlfriend spoke up.
After finally placing her foot down to say she wasn’t going one of the weekends, her boyfriend told her that his mother was feeling the strain and “then said I had ‘made her feel bad’ by pulling back. I don’t know how she knew since I never spoke to her about any of this, which means he told her himself, and now the whole thing has somehow shifted from my actual need for personal time to managing her feelings about my absence.”
What a doozy of a story.
This fed-up girlfriend had had enough and tried expressing how she felt to her boyfriend — before it backfired. Azee Jacobs/peopleimages.com – stock.adobe.com
The writing is on the wall of what’s going on right here — and the commenters on the thread have been fast to agree.
“NTA. Wanting two adult days that don’t automatically belong to his parents is pretty normal. The weird part is him turning your schedule into a group family issue,” one commenter wrote.
“Even in your 20s, I’d be side-eyeing this. In your 30s? Yeesh. OP has problems down the line,” another identified.
“He went and tattled to his mommy. Also, start making plans in your location to explore those things. And then do them,” prompt somebody.
“Sit him down and address the triangulation. ‘When you told your mom I was ‘pulling back’ instead of explaining that we need time as a couple, you made me the villain. I’m not ‘distant’; I’m an adult with a life. From now on, I will be visiting once a month. I need you to support that boundary without making it about her being ‘hurt,’” suggested another commenter.
“You are in a relationship with a manchild who needs his mommy. Move on, this is never going to change,” quipped another person.
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