I just met my brothers daughter that no one knew…
DEAR ABBY: I had my DNA analyzed and subsequently obtained a message from a younger lady (a stranger) on the positioning. Her DNA matches at the extent of a niece. Her message said she didn’t know her father, and her mom hasn’t been clear on that subject. Her mom “met a guy” back in early 1990. She was born later that yr. She believes I’m her uncle and requested if I know any male relations who might be her father. I responded, letting her know I’d get back to her.
When I spoke with my brother, he corroborated particulars in her message about assembly her mom, which was a hookup. The news of a daughter he never knew about is overwhelming for him as he at the moment has a child, and his spouse is pregnant again. (He also has an grownup daughter from a earlier marriage.) I haven’t yet responded to this lady as I await my brother’s choice about how he needs to proceed. What advice do you’ve about how I ought to reply to my “niece”? — MAYBE UNCLE IN TEXAS
DEAR MAYBE UNCLE: You shouldn’t be the intermediary from now on. Respond to the younger lady by telling her you might be giving her contact data to your brother. Once you’ve performed that, you must let him resolve how to deal with it from there.
DEAR ABBY: I have a persecution complicated. I know where it comes from. My mom repeatedly told me how ugly I was as a youngster. Recently, I was going through some tough instances. My sister, who I was in charge of, had a huge stroke and subsequently died. I’d had to take care of her, and I resented it. When she had the stroke, I started reminiscing, and not all of the recollections have been good ones.
I occurred upon a image of my household taken when I was 10. My older sisters and mother and father have been also in the photograph. When I confirmed the photograph to my buddy, her response left me speechless. She virtually threw the cellphone down and said, “What an ugly family! Your mother is ugly and fat, and your father is ugly, too!” She continued with more of the same. Other than that, she’s a type and giving buddy.
I can’t get over what she said because I know I’m ugly and I hate being so. But if we have been so offensive, why would she be buddies with me? We are now in our 60s, so “beauty” is in the rear window. But how do I deal with her when she asks why I have grow to be so distant without placing myself down additional? — TAKEN ABACK IN FLORIDA
DEAR TAKEN ABACK: Excuse me, but “kind and giving” people don’t make nasty feedback about their buddy’s relations’ bodily look. What she did was off-the-charts disagreeable, and your response is regular. If your “friend” asks why you’ve been distant currently, inform her how shocked you have been by her hurtful feedback about the household image. Not everyone seems to be blessed with bodily magnificence, but many people are thought-about stunning because of the kindness that shines from within.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also identified as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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