Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullocks wretched sequel…
film review
PRACTICAL MAGIC 2
Runtime: 130 minutes. PG-13 (Brief strong language, suggestive materials, some violent content).
I always admire it when a film character helps me out with a lede.
“As far as I was concerned, magic was in our past — and good riddance,” says Sandra Bullock’s Sally Owens in the foul “Practical Magic 2.”
Agreed, Sally. I, too, thought ‘Magic’ was in my past. But no. In order to meet 2026’s nostalgia quota, right here’s a 28-years-later followup to the cult flop about margarita-loving sister witches starring Bullock and Nicole Kidman.
By the pricking of my thumbs, one thing wretched this means comes!
Truth be told, I’ve never understood the appeal of the 1998 authentic past its luminous star duo.
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It begins out the same means most ’80s and ’90s films about magic (“The Witches,” “Hocus Pocus,” “Beetlejuice”) do — with aerial footage of a small city accompanied by loud orchestral music.
Then, the early scenes are cottage quaint, New England B&B stuff, before sharp-turning into a perplexing abuse story with a detective attempting to resolve a homicide as he aggressively hits on the chief suspect.
Sorceress siblings Sally and Gilly (Kidman) have “midnight margaritas!,” maintain a seance and then the film ends cute prefer it’s “My Best Friend’s Wedding.”
Fans like it for its flaws, I suppose.
Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock return in “Practical Magic 2.” Warner Bros. Pictures via AP
What the first one does have in spots, however, is allure.
That intangible high quality is completely absent from the sequel that’s directed by Susanne Bier (“Bird Box,” “After the Wedding”) for some purpose.
No. 2 performs like she pressed “record” at a first rehearsal and then slapped on some not-so-special results.
Watching it’s often awkward. Bullock and Kidman crack joke after joke that no person laughs at because of dangerous writing and even worse enhancing.
Beyond a budget promote of seeing beloved characters again, “Practical Magic 2” will not be an particularly entertaining film.
The Owens girls still haven’t lifted the curse against their household. Warner Bros. Pictures via AP
The glacial runtime does it no favors. At two hours and 10 minutes, it’s some 25 minutes longer than its predecessor. Call it Tylenol “P.M.”
You may keep in mind that all Owens girls (including aunts Frances and Jet — Stockard Channing and Dianne Wiest, respectively) are cursed. Whenever they fall in love with a man, he dies. Lucky them.
I assumed that the issue of the curse was solved in the first film. But, whoops, it was not.
“Not great for the Tinder bio,” Kidman says in a second that makes one want one’s ears would go on a lunch break.
Sally’s daughters (Joey King and Maisie Williams) have been magicked into believing they don’t have powers. Warner Bros. Pictures via AP
The centuries-old spell begins to have an effect on Sally’s 20-something daughters, Kylie (Joey King) and Antonia (Maisie Williams), who she has magicked into forgetting they’ve powers.
How handy! Although based on Alice Hoffman’s novel, the swiftly explained plot shortcuts listed below are akin to repairing a steam radiator with Scotch Tape.
Speaking of witch, wacky previous Jet finds a tome called the Book of the Raven with a tremendous useful chapter called “How To End The Curse.”
Ugh. If only my eyes might also clock out.
Too dangerous the pages are enchantedly glued shut.
Ian (Lee Pace) exhibits up and contributes little to the story. Warner Bros. Pictures via AP
When Kylie’s beau Gideon (Xolo Maridueña) is hit by a car and goes into a coma, she flies to her household’s hometown in England in hopes of ridding them of their lethal burden.
But what of ours?
We’re saddled with an empty-calorie empowerment film that speaks in catchphrase.
“Live a little, live a lot,” one goes.
“No magic is stronger than sisterhood,” chimes another.
That second one is curious, because while Kylie, Sally and Gilly head to the UK, sister Antonia paces around Gideon’s hospital room doing jack squat.
Once across the pond, Sally seeks the help of Ian Wright (Lee Pace), a obscure historical past of magic professor who contributes hardly something to this film past his gender and generic beauty.
After that comes an hour of treading water and a twist that isn’t actually a twist.
Sandra Bullock acts sometimes now. Warner Bros. Pictures via AP
The typical apology for movies like this goes, “The movie sucked, but the leads were fabulous.”
Bullock acts sometimes now. So, this is a reunion in more methods than one. Of course, Kidman has a new project every 5 minutes.
Although that “they’re fab!” reasoning was true in 1998, it’s not anymore. Back then they had been actresses. Here, Bullock and Kidman radiate an impenetrable protect of megawatt superstar that’s just one of many obstacles for viewers who need to get absorbed in this story, such as it’s.
Kidman’s goofiness and Bullock’s sternness are performative. When they dance to “Coconut” at the end, you possibly can inform they’ve been doing it for hours and just need to go home.
Nicole Kidman’s goofiness as Gilly is performative. Warner Bros. Pictures via AP
That’s comprehensible. So can we.
The newcomers? Williams, again, stands around in an ICU room that appears cheaper than the set of “Grey’s Anatomy.” Hard to decide.
And King has the tacked-on agony of having just been told her flight was canceled.
That’s comprehensible. So can we.
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