Should I leave my daughter out of my will to screw…
DEAR ABBY: I have a daughter who resides in another state and has had self-confidence points since she was younger. Her first marriage ended when she discovered out her husband was having affairs. Her second husband seems to be controlling but provides her stability, which she likes. When I go to them, he’s impolite and condescending, which I have tried to ignore as he’s her alternative.
Over the last 20 years, he has grow to be more and more controlling and impolite to the purpose that I no longer need to go to them. While I miss my daughter, I know she is conscious and will do nothing about his habits. We discuss on the telephone but only on speaker when he’s current.
Now the conundrum: Do I leave a sizable inheritance to her, which I know he will control? While I don’t need her to really feel I am punishing her for her alternative in a husband, it makes me really feel like I can be rewarding him for his impolite habits. — TORN DAD IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR DAD: This is one thing you need to talk about with your financial adviser. You would not have to reward her husband. You might find a way to set up a trust for your daughter in which she receives a specific amount of money every month until her death. After that, the rest of your property is perhaps left to a trigger or charity of your alternative.
DEAR ABBY: I was in a relationship with “John” for two years. Because he had nowhere to go, he continued dwelling with me for six months after I ended the connection. John has burned every bridge he’s ever had, including his mother and father and his brother. He is an emotionally and verbally abusive alcoholic.
John’s brother, “Jerry,” and I have now fallen for each other. We grew up together and have been buddies our total lives. We have mentioned that if it weren’t for this issue, we might marry. My drawback is Jerry is sure his mom will disapprove. He says he would end our relationship if they discovered out about us and she is against it.
We are virtually 50 years outdated. I consider we may very well be “just friends” to the skin world, including Jerry’s mother and father, and keep our personal lives to ourselves for now. He isn’t involved about what John would assume. We have both skilled this sort of connection only once before in our lives. How will we inform buddies, household and, most importantly, his mother and father? — FOUND THE ONE IN THE SOUTH
DEAR FOUND: You and Jerry are practically 50 years outdated. “We” shouldn’t make any bulletins to anybody. JERRY wants to be grownup enough to summon up the braveness to inform his mom he has fallen in love with you and plans to make you his spouse. If he can’t convey himself to do that, your relationship will ultimately wither. Personally, I assume it’s time for you to take a step back so you received’t be writing me about this drawback a 12 months or two or 5 from now. You deserve better treatment than this.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also identified as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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