My friends estranged father-in-law died, now Im…
DEAR ABBY: A buddy’s spouse’s aged organic father was killed in a one-car auto accident just lately. She had been estranged from him for as long as I can bear in mind (more than 30 years?) and told me over the years how a lot she hated him. She adored her stepfather, who died a few years back.
My buddy is now upset with me because I failed to ship condolences to his spouse following her father’s death, despite the hateful emotions she had voiced about him. I definitely had reached out to her after the death of her stepfather, for whom she cared very a lot.
What is the rule of etiquette when a particular person loses a member of the family they hated? What would I even say? “Sorry for your loss”? It just appears that any sentiment could be faux. — NOT INSENSITIVE IN ARIZONA
DEAR NOT INSENSITIVE: I agree with you. Explain to your buddy that you didn’t imply to slight his spouse, but after listening to how a lot she disliked her organic father for so many years, you didn’t assume she needed consoling. Then, in a separate call, inform his spouse that you’re sorry if your lack of response was hurtful to her, because it was not your intention.
DEAR ABBY: What do you do about a co-worker who sends blended alerts to you? I’m a lady about 72 years outdated, and he’s about 20 years youthful. I consider he’s single or unattached. I misplaced my boyfriend 10 years in the past to coronary heart issues.
Over the past three to 4 years, this co-worker has made cute faces at me, winked, gotten bodily close, adopted me in the office for a second, and so forth. We have supplied to buy each other a beverage. He’s a good particular person but acts odd! I believe he’s shy or has social anxiety. What do you assume is the trigger of this conduct? — PUZZLED AT WORK
DEAR PUZZLED: You say he “sends mixed signals,” but you’ve listed only behaviors that show curiosity. Perhaps this gentleman is flirtatious by nature, or maybe he’s always socially awkward. What you understand for sure is that he enjoys your company and appears to be wanting for companionship. I say observe through on that drink offer, but strive not to read an excessive amount of into it. You don’t have anything to lose, but chances are you’ll gain a good buddy.
DEAR ABBY: Our daughter has been in a long-term relationship with the most fantastic younger man. They live together, and their dedication is strong. They have supported each other through extreme sickness, loss of dad and mom, employment layoffs, and so forth.
When in social conditions, we’re often at a loss how to correctly introduce him. He’s an important half of our household, and we’re proud of him, but he isn’t our son-in-law, and he’s a lot more than our daughter’s boyfriend. Any solutions? — TERM OF ENDEARMENT IN TEXAS
DEAR TERM: It seems your daughter and this younger man are fortunate to have discovered each other. My suggestion is to ask him how he would really like to be launched, and observe his lead. You can’t go fallacious that method.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren. For practically 4 a long time, Jeanne Phillips penned this column, which was based in 1956 by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 270135, Kansas City, MO 64127.
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