An awful reunion nobody asked for…
Theater review
ROMY AND MICHELE: THE MUSICAL
Two hours and half-hour with one intermission. At Stage 42.
The off-Broadway show “Romy and Michele: The Musical” cuts out “High School Reunion” from the title.
Punchier, I assume.
If only that eraser was put to better use.
The sorry excuse for a stage adaptation, which opened Tuesday at Stage 42, takes a quirky 90-minute movie that was fully reliant on the allure and chemistry of its leads Mira Sorvino and Lisa Kudrow, pumps in virtually an hour of formless filler and pulverizes its persona to the purpose of being virtually unrecognizable.
Devolving into commodity slop is a curious transfer for an underdog cult comedy ostensibly about the drawbacks of pretending to be somebody other than your self.
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Yet that’s what this total exercise in soulless IP exploitation is: A enjoyable film masquerading as an interminable musical.
In a lot the same method their BFF characters unconvincingly don energy fits, stars Laura Bell Bundy and Kara Lindsay attempt their best to adapt Sorvino and Kudrow’s kooky California accents and weird conduct into a song-and-dance setting. It just doesn’t work.
We gawk at the peculiar pair like they’re long forgotten classmates at our own reunion.
Don’t I do know them from someplace?
They can’t be our favourite Diet Coke drinkers.
Kara Lindsay and Laura Bell Bundy star in “Romy and Michele: The Musical.” Valerie Terranova
Bundy performs husky-voiced, direct Romy, while Lindsay is bubbly Michele. They’re roommates, soulmates and, in this unappealingly goofy show, virtually inanimate.
The actresses are properly matched, chemistry-wise, however there’s zero honesty to their performances. And the singing leans screechy. Kudrow and Sorvino, unsurprisingly, show irreplaceable. You wouldn’t need to watch “Pee-wee: The Musical” without Paul Rubens. The same is true of “Romy and Michele” without the OGs.
Their plot roughly matches the film — just a lot longer. Two LA best mates embark on a highway journey to their high faculty reunion in Tucson, and en route determine to idiot their class by telling a big lie about their careers: They invented Post-Its.
The first act is usually a forgettable, sluggish flashback sequence to their years as teenage outcasts and a dramatic promenade night time crammed with unrequited crushes involving goth Heather (Jordan Kai Burnett), nerd Sandy (Michael Thomas Grant) and hunky Billy (Pascal Pastrana).
Much of the first act is a flashback to their high faculty years. Valerie Terranova
There are barely any laughs in the drag-and-drop staging from director Kristin Hanggi, whose work on “Rock of Ages” appears eons away.
The set-up goes on and on. We don’t go back to the future for almost an hour, and the ladies finally hop into the Jaguar convertible moments before intermission.
In Act Two, when they head to Arizona, that Jag glides like a dump truck on the 405.
As soon as we get a style of Gwendolyn Sanford and Brandon Jay’s rating, we’re inclined to ship it back to the kitchen. Its overabundance of songs are the type of generic, exclamation-point Broadway pop that feels like a low cost parody of “Legally Blonde.”
In Act Two, the women head to Arizona for their reunion. Valerie Terranova
Why even compose a new rating? While usually I’m pro-originality, “Romy and Michele” could be better off as, properly, staying a film, but also a jukebox musical. The hits of No Doubt, Cyndi Lauper, The Go-Gos and Bananarama are firmly baked into the story’s id. They linger right here like phantom limbs.
It’s straightforward to perceive why guide author Robin Schiff, who also wrote the movie, thought her creation might work as a musical. The characters first debuted in a sketch onstage at the Groundlings. Perhaps she noticed it as coming full circle.
“Romy and Michele” is a troublesome movie to translate into track and dance. Valerie Terranova
Musicals, be they hilarious or weepy, are emotional creatures, though. Romy and Michele will not be. They are bone-dry, pathetic, easy-to-love, Gen X snark machines. Big exuberant songs butt heads with their monotone essence. There is no method to sing properly while being indifferent or with sarcasm. “Business Woman’s Special” shouldn’t be a full-blown manufacturing quantity.
Alas.
Jot this down on a Post-It word: Skip “Romy and Michele: The Musical.”
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