Trump Hilariously Roasts Biden’s Bite-Happy | Political News
President Trump, at a speech Friday evening in Palm Beach, reminded the American people once again that if he weren’t busy operating the nation, he might in all probability be dabbling in a pretty profitable profession in stand-up.
The mockery of Joe Biden. The comedic timing. Trump would give Ben Bankas a run for his money.
The President visited The Villages in Central Florida, then headed on over to the Kravis Center in West Palm Beach, his first public look since the latest attempt on his life. Sad, is not it, that we have now to determine it as the “latest” assassination attempt, since there have been so many?
If Trump was weary from the latest assault, or even involved about his own security (which might be a cheap response), he did not show it. Instead, he handled the gang to pure leisure, including a laugh-out-loud riff on why he never acquired a White House canine.
“You know, they all wanted me to buy a dog when I went to the White House, they said, ‘Sir, you’ll be the first President in 68 years, or something, that doesn’t have a dog,'” he said.
“I said, ‘It’s not going to work for me.'”
At which level, he roasted Biden, who had a famously horrible monitor file with proudly owning canines.
“His canine was a vicious canine. Kept biting our Secret Service people. You know, we had 28 chew issues. This was a violent canine. That’s not a canine I’d need,” Trump explained to laughter in the gang.
🤣🤣🤣 I swear he was supposed to be a comic and one thing someplace took a flawed flip pic.twitter.com/OmSawmFDhN
— Whale Psychiatrist ™️ (@k_ovfefe2) May 2, 2026
READ MORE: Biden’s German Shepherd Strikes Again, Bites eleventh Secret Service Agent
Trump was just hitting his stride with the Biden jokes. It was when the President explained that politicians have a tendency to undertake pets to make themselves seem more relatable, then imagined himself doing the same, and the media response to such a transfer, that actually had the people in stitches.
“But for 60 years, I guess even longer, every President’s had a dog, because they do it for votes,” Trump continued. “Some of them do it because they love the dog—probably most of them do it for votes. And I thought it would look quite fake.”
He imagined the media coverage he would have acquired had he adopted a canine.
“Can you imagine, Donald Trump has purchased a lovely, lovely little poodle. And he walks him religiously every day on the White House grounds,” he said before sending liberal heads into spontaneous combustion with point out of his favourite project.
“As he’s inspecting the ballroom that’s going up,” he said to laughter. “They walk deep down into a foundation that’s going down to China. There’s a lot of stuff going on in that foundation, let me tell you.”
Comedian In Chief https://t.co/iLHF4DZOr1
— Eagle Ed Martin (@EagleEdMartin) May 2, 2026
The Biden White House, by distinction, tried the presidential pet route. It did not go properly.
Joe’s first German Shepherd, Major, was rehomed in 2021 after a string of biting incidents that left White House workers and Secret Service personnel injured. His substitute, Commander, proved even more aggressive, racking up at least 24 reported bites on White House personnel before he, too, was quietly eliminated from the premises.
It was thought that President Biden’s canine Commander only bit Secret Service protectors. But now there are photos of Commander attacking the WH grounds superintendent — the twelfth recognized sufferer. The president doesn’t appear to care. https://t.co/lBGyc7zzRF https://t.co/o9PoMEgRv3
— Byron York (@ByronYork) October 5, 2023
They tried so arduous to make the lifelong politician relatable and seize on that ol’ lovable Uncle Joe persona. Instead, Major and Commander unleashed a literal reign of terror on just about anyone strolling the White House grounds.
Can you think about Trump strolling around the Oval Office with a chihuahua hanging off his ankles?
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