Your self-righteous Oscars are boring…
In his Oscars tribute to slain director Rob Reiner Sunday, Billy Crystal referenced some of his previous good friend’s most iconic motion pictures — from “Spinal Tap” to “The Princess Bride” to “A Few Good Men,” invoking the star and most well-known line from that 1992 traditional.
“And Jack Nicholson, who warned us: You can’t handle the truth — which is simply what we all want today.”
The line was meant, I presume, as a jab at the Trump administration.
Host Conan O’Brien delivered a few good jokes but his shtick went downhill. REUTERS
For a group of people both devoted to make-believe yet, supposedly, hungry for reality, right here’s one that Hollywood stubbornly refuses to admit to themselves.
Outside of Los Angeles’ Dolby Theatre, no one provides a rat’s behind about 75% of what goes on at the Oscars.
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The normie viewers at home desires to see glamorous A-listers in their red-carpet splendor. They need to snort at a dazzling monologue. They need showbiz, child.
Instead, the Oscars more and more delivers navel-gazing slop thanks to a glut of behind-the-scenes awards. Do we actually need to know who is tops at sound modifying or visible results or, the latest class watering down the show’s leisure worth, Best Achievement in Casting?
During the Oscars, Billy Crystal paid tribute to slain director Rob Reiner and his spouse Michele. He was joined by other actors who starred in Reiner’s movies. Disney via Getty Images
It took 5 actors — including Gwyneth Paltrow, who misplaced me when she used the empty phrases “lived experience” — to introduce the nominees. Also slowing issues down: “Sinners” cinematographer Autumn Durald Arkapaw celebrated her win as the first feminine recipient by urging every girl in the room to stand up because she wouldn’t be there without them.
Yeah, Leonardo DiCaprio’s 27-year-old model girlfriend was completely integral.
Unlike the Grammys, which is a live performance with skimpy outfits and only a few awards, the Oscars seems like a slog — like a lot of it ought to happen on a Tuesday afternoon in a lodge ballroom.
It’s why the Emmys have a separate artistic arts award ceremony, so as to not bore their viewers to death.
That’s what host Conan O’Brien was for. After touchdown a few good strains about Timothée Chalamet and the dreaded AI takeover of Hollywood, his shtick went south.
In a drawn-out and boring presentation, Paul Mescal, from far left, Gwyneth Paltrow, Chase Infiniti, Wagner Moura and Delroy Lindo introduced the award for best casting during the Oscars. Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP
Noting that no Brits have been nominated in the best actor class, he quipped, “A British spokesperson said: ‘Yeah, but at least we arrest our pedophiles.’”
That may come as news to all the younger women who have been victimized by grooming gangs there. And someplace from hell, late BBC pedo Jimmy Savile — never arrested — was laughing maniacally.
During his monologue, it felt like O’Brien was on a Oscars justification tour for the show even being aired, noting that there have been 31 nations across six continents represented among the nominees, “with people speaking different languages, working hard to make something of beauty. We pay tribute tonight, not just to film, but to the ideals of global artistry, collaboration, patience, resilience and that rarest of qualities today — optimism.”
Another pat on the back.
Presenter Javiar Bardem, who usually blasts Israel, wears his pro-Palestinian pin and anti-war pins. REUTERS
Despite the public’s very small urge for food for Hollywood lectures, actors’s enthusiasm for delivering them have never been larger.
It must have been powerful for Javier Bardem to select just two items of virtue-signaling aptitude. On Sunday, he wore an previous anti-war button and beamed like a youngster who bought a sticker from the dentist for having no cavities.
Presenting the award for Best International Feature Film, Bardem smugly barked his favourite completely meaningless phrase, “Free Palestine.” He forgot to add “from Hamas.”
But severely: For all of the #IceOut equipment, not one phrase was spared for the courageous Iranian girls’s soccer staff who, sadly, face a life-or-death choice of whether or not or not to return home to a brutal regime.
For me, the spotlight of the night time was “Hamnet” star Jessie Buckley accepting her Best Actress award. The new mother delivered a speech that was, as a good friend rightfully said to me, “beautifully transgressive.” She praised motherhood — as one thing that has not impeded her desires, but fulfilled them and made her skilled success richer. She needed to make 20,000 more infants with her husband.
“Hamnet” star Jessie Buckley accepted her Oscar for Best Actress and delivered a stunning speech on motherhood. REUTERS
“I would like to dedicate this to the beautiful chaos of a mother’s heart,” she said.
It was a stark distinction to Michelle Williams, who, at the 2020 Golden Globes, drew a direct line from her resume in movie to abortion — saying she couldn’t have achieved what she did “without employing a woman’s right to choose.”
But the Oscars will not be long for broadcast tv. In 2029, it will likely be 101 years previous and at home on Youtube — where we will, no doubt, all tune in to see who wins best craft providers.
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