My friends children are taunting her old age…
DEAR ABBY: I spent the morning at a close buddy’s home. She is in her early 80s and beginning to show some mental decline and reminiscence issues. Her children are in their 30s and still live at home. Her husband is also in his 80s.
While there, I seen how, at every alternative, the children or husband would make some “innocent” comment about her listening to or mental alertness. It didn’t take long for me to discover how these remarks went from innocent teasing to mean-spirited. I may see by my buddy’s expression that some of their remarks had hit the mark and damage her emotions. She either performed along with it or pretended she didn’t hear it.
I made an early exit and proceeded to my next stop, where, to my dismay, the scene repeated itself with my own sister (also in her early 80s) as the goal. Her daughter and husband had been relentless with their teasing about her listening to, sight, phrase looking — whatever they might discover to demean her (no, this just isn’t new). But after the best way I noticed my buddy being abused, I had to get out of there. I’m ashamed for not talking up at the time. Abby, what ought to I’ve accomplished then and in the future? — LOUSY FRIEND AND SISTER
DEAR ‘LOUSY’: When it occurs in the future (and it’s going to), be happy to communicate up. Consider telling those “witty” people that their feedback are not humorous; they are hurtful. If they actually consider what they are saying is true, their relative ought to be evaluated by a neurologist, an ophthalmologist or an audiologist to see what deficits may be remediated.
DEAR ABBY: My son and his spouse have two children. The youngest is a child and is my first grandchild fathered by my son. I’ve a particular relationship with the child and have been caring for him since he was 2 1/2 months old, Monday through Friday from 8 to 5. The thought was that I might watch him until he was a 12 months and a little bit, and then he would go to day care. Day care may be very costly, and I’ve just lately been told they might not be in a position to afford it at this level.
My husband and I’ve been eagerly trying ahead to the time when I’ll have some time to do other issues. I’m torn between telling them I’ll watch him longer and saying they’re going to have to determine it out. I really like this child boy, and I really like my son.
My feelings have gotten the best of me, and I’m contemplating caring for my grandson longer. However, I do know that’s going to be an issue with my husband, who just isn’t my son’s father. What is your view on this? — TORN GRANDMA IN FLORIDA
This reader is torn between agreeing to watch her grandson and telling her son that he’s going to have to work out daycare. Syda Productions – stock.adobe.com
DEAR GRANDMA: My view is that you, your husband, your son and his spouse ought to have a dialog in which you construction a schedule that will work for all of you. If that just isn’t attainable, because your son and his spouse need help paying for day care, maybe you and your husband may chip in.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also recognized as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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