Mom explains why she is trying to say yes more…
As a child, my mother’s favourite phrase was “because no means no.”
I can’t start to clarify how irritating that was, particularly when there was no purpose why it was a no. Just… no. End of dialogue.
Now that I’m a mother myself, I’ve caught those precise phrases slipping out of my own mouth.
The mother says her mom’s favourite phrase was “no means no.” nicoletaionescu – stock.adobe.com
But not too long ago, I noticed a TikTok that made me stop and assume.
“The number one thing that I have struggled with in parenting is my innate sense to want to tell my children no,” mother Brenden begins in her video.
“Why am I just saying no?”
It’s one thing she observed through her daughter’s conduct. How she began hiding issues she needed behind her back, nervous her mother would say no.
“While that’s something so small, it can grow into a lot more serious things as your children get older. I had to step back and ask myself: why am I just saying no? Why is that my immediate response to everything my child asks me?” she explains.
She realized that a lot of her no’s have been about control.
She questioned “why am I just saying no?” @brenden_cook/TikTok
And sure, there are completely occasions when a no is needed. Brenden makes it clear that boundaries around security and wellbeing aren’t up for negotiation.
But some of those different no’s? The reflexive ones? They’re price rethinking.
“A lot of times you can just say yes,” she reveals.
She gave the instance of her daughter the opposite day, who requested if she might leap in a puddle.
“My immediate response was no. In my brain I’m like I don’t want to have to change your shoes, I don’t want your shoes to be wet, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, I don’t want your clothes to get dirty,” Brenden stated.
“As if she gives a s**t about any of that.”
Brenden is working onerous to not say no to issues that aren’t a large deal.
The mom emphasised boundaries are still important. @brenden_cook/TikTok
Do you inform your youngsters ‘no’ an excessive amount of?
Yes, and I’m working on it
Sometimes, but it relies upon
No! Boundaries are important!
“Is it dangerous, or just inconvenient?”
So Brenden took a second and reconsidered.
“I had to stop and give myself a reality check and be like ‘girl. Who cares? Say yes!’” she revealed.
“She jumped in the puddle and she got her shoes and her clothes wet. Guess what happened? Nothing. Other than her having a great f**king time.”
Her remark part lit up with mother and father who felt the identical.
“I saw a quote that said ‘is it dangerous, or just inconvenient?’ That has helped me to think before I say no! I am still working on it & your video was a great reminder!” one mother or father wrote.
Another admitted “I struggle with finding a happy medium. I was saying yes to everything because I didn’t want to be too strict but then I realized my kid needs to be told no sometimes.”
“I have to ask myself, ‘Is it really that big of a deal?’ Most of the time it’s not. I struggle with this too!” a third added.
Her video’s remark part lit up with mother and father who felt the identical. @brenden_cook/TikTok
Brenden says it’s one thing she has to work on consistently, because being easygoing doesn’t come naturally to her.
“I have to remind myself to say yes to the things that don’t matter,” she stated.
“I want to be the mom that my children know that I’m probably going to say yes, so that when I say no that know that I mean it.”
Turns out, a little puddle-jumping pleasure is definitely worth the moist sneakers.
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