My friend moved in with me after losing her home —…
DEAR ABBY: Nine months in the past, my friend “Anne” moved in with me after losing her home following her boyfriend’s death.
Since then, she’s had hassle discovering employment, but when she does work, she spends money on stuff she actually doesn’t need.
She’s always speaking about how she hates to be a burden on me and will transfer out ASAP. Then she buys random stuff from online buying websites (like designer purses and garments), so I doubt she’s saving for her own place yet.
She says it’s because she’s been through a lot and she deserves it. She has a “you only live once” mindset.
She once inspired me to buy a brand-new $300 set of baggage “just because I liked it.” She also exhibits her appreciation to me by shopping for me issues.
We’re both in our mid-50s, each with an only little one in their 30s, and I’m attempting to get rid of stuff I don’t need so my daughter gained’t have to deal with it when I’m gone.
I do know we’re both adults and that I don’t have the precise to inform Anne what to do with her money and life.
I just would somewhat she take the money she’s spending on frivolous stuff for me and put it toward getting her own place.
Anne’s delicate and takes issues personally. How do I break it to her gently that I’m not a fan of presents, and the best means she will show her gratitude to me is to save her hard-earned money instead of shopping for me more stuff I don’t need (and actually don’t need)? — THANKS, BUT NO THANKS
DEAR T.B.N.T.: What you need to “break gently” to your friend is that you don’t want a everlasting roommate, and that if she needs to show her gratitude, you’d admire her beginning to severely save so she has the money to get a place of her own.
DEAR ABBY: I used to be questioning how to deal with questions I get about youngsters. My spouse and I don’t have youngsters.
For instance, at a networking event in which people don’t need to lead off with what they do, youngsters appear a “safe” matter.
In my opinion, if somebody needs to deliver up the subject of youngsters, they need to first ask if everybody in the group has them, because it turns into awkward when they get to me, and I say we’re childless.(Same goes for other delicate topics, such as cancer, and many others.)
Isn’t it impolite for people to assume that everybody has youngsters, because, if they don’t, they’re then excluded in the group dialogue?
I can’t share my little one’s commencement story, damaged bones, and many others. — CHILD-FREE IN MICHIGAN
DEAR CHILD-FREE: Not everybody has youngsters. It’s a fact. Rather than impolite, the questioners are inconsiderate. A means to deal with the query could be to say, “My wife and I are child-free.”
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also identified as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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