I dont want my pot-smoking nephew to be a bad…
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I had two sons, “Seth” and “Jason,” who had been best buddies. Seth handed away a 12 months and a half in the past, which has been actually laborious on us all, but particularly on Jason. He’s now 17 and in high faculty. He’s doing OK, but he’s still type of listless and retains to himself a lot.
My sister’s son, “Matt,” was the same age as Seth. She prompt he come keep with us on faculty breaks as company and a function model for Jason. She dotes on Matt and implies it’s a sacrifice for her to give up time with him for us. Her impulse appears candy, but frankly, I don’t want Matt around Jason. He smokes pot, sleeps most of the day and performs video video games the remainder of the time. He shouldn’t be doing properly in faculty and has no ambition. He also drives while he’s high, which I realized when I was visiting them last 12 months.
I told my sister that it was an excessive amount of to have another child in the home, but she stored pushing. Now she desires Jason to come keep with them, which I suppose would be worse. How do I preserve some distance without telling her immediately that I suppose her child has some work to do on himself before I want him to be a function model for mine? — BAD PLAN IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR BAD PLAN: It shouldn’t be obligatory to level out to your sister that her son is an underachieving mess. Under no circumstances ought to your son be uncovered to Cousin Matt without supervision, because that younger man is properly on his means down the highway to nowhere. Tell your sister she means properly, and while you respect the spirit in which she has made the offer, no one, including Matt, can substitute for the loss Jason feels for his brother.
DEAR ABBY: I am the oldest son. My drawback is, my sisters are taking financial benefit of our mom. Neither of them appears to want to work or be in a position to maintain a full-time job. When Dad was alive, he helped them out by shopping for them houses, but he never gave them money.
I have labored and been self-sufficient my whole life. I purchased my own home. Mom has been paying for home repairs for one sister, and she “loaned” the other sister money to buy a property she desires to construct on, despite having no income. Mom has also been paying the month-to-month HOA dues on both my sisters’ houses, which is a number of hundred {dollars} per month.
This Dear Abby reader desires his siblings to stop taking benefit of their mom financially. Prostock-studio – stock.adobe.com
I have told them repeatedly to stop asking Mom for money. She’s a retired instructor who lives on a fixed income, and her financial savings are now fully gone. How can I get my sisters to give up dwelling off our mom’s life financial savings? — DISGUSTED SON IN NEVADA
DEAR SON: By draining your mom’s financial belongings, your sisters could have dedicated what might be thought of elder abuse. Elder abuse is a crime. The best particular person to help you put an end to this would be a lawyer. The sooner you seek the advice of one, the better for your mom.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also recognized as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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