Date them ’til you hate them toxic dating trend…
The “Date Them ’Til You hostility Them Theory” isn’t about stormy splits — it’s about slowly ghosting your means out of love.
The buzzy breakup strategy is racking up views on TikTok, though relationship professionals say it could possibly be downright toxic.
The trend traces back to creator Meg Neil (@themegneil), who went viral after spilling how she slipped out of a four-year relationship without crumbling.
“I dated him until I hated him,” she declared in a TikTok video.
Rather than nagging, combating or demanding change, she merely pulled the plug on her feelings. “You’re going to let them disrespect you,” Neil famous.
“You’re going to watch them disrespect you…until you no longer want to associate with them anymore.”
It’s a breakup by slow burn — starve the spark, let it rot and watch love curdle into disgust.
Suddenly, Neil said, the issues that once gutted her — like his shrugging indifference and annoying sounds of him respiratory — grew to become what set her free.
In the feedback, fellow girls piled on with their own warfare tales of loving a man straight into loathing — and the brutal classes that got here with it.
“hostility to say it but it’s the only way to guarantee you move on fully, clean cut,” one consumer wrote as another added, “This is me rn. Best way to leave, it’s like you already processed it all.”
Someone else chimed in, writing, “firm believer in this method,” as one other replied, “hostility to say that this works, don’t fight back just sit there and watch how embarrassing it is for him AND for you, get out of that.”
In a comparable TikTok video, consumer Amber Hutton (@ambermayhutton) said that while “date them until you hate them” would possibly seem to be a “controversial sentence,” she discovered that, basically, “you will not let go of — and move on from — that person” until you have a actuality examine.
She believes that you need to “get to a point yourself where you’ve had enough” and “choose to walk away,” while realizing what you “do and do not deserve.”
“Deciding to just walk away isn’t always the easiest thing to do, even if it’s the best thing to do long-term,” she went on.
But the query stays — do you actually have to get to this loathing level to end issues?
While TikTok followers hailed this playbook, Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn calls it what it truly is: traditional neglect.
“Some people use this approach because they lack effective communication skills to reject someone or enforce their boundaries,” she told PureWow in a latest interview.
“Once you feel constant negative emotions in your relationship, it doesn’t stay confined to that relationship. It bleeds into other aspects of your life and wellness,” she explained.
Let the drama simmer, let grudges pile high, and increase — breaking up seems like a breeze. But don’t be deceived: the consultants warn, it’s more toxic than triumphant Drobot Dean – stock.adobe.com
Experts agree that neglect is one of the worst strikes of all. What seems like control (staying quiet instead of going through the issue head-on) is de facto just extending pain.
As The Post beforehand reported, “Banksying” is a comparable slow-burn breakup transfer where you ghost your emotions until you snap and disappear — named after elusive road artist Banksy, because like his well-known murals, the break up often hits out of nowhere.
“Banksying happens more now, especially with the proliferation of dating apps, where people have developed poor dating etiquette,” Amy Chan, a relationship knowledgeable, just lately told USA Today.
“The person withdrawing gets the ability to process the breakup on their own terms, before they hand the memo to the other person, who ends up being in total shock.”
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