Idiot award shows need to stop embarrassing…
With the Oscars less than a month away, and the published taking form behind the scenes, right here is the No. 1 factor I would really like the producers not to do on March 15.
Please don’t put an ageing Hollywood legend in an uncomfortable and humiliating state of affairs in entrance of tens of millions of people around the world and make us all really feel depressing.
Again.
Liza Minnelli wrote in her new memoir that presenting at the Oscars in 2022 was “heartbreaking.” AFP via Getty Images
That would appear like a simple enough ask: Let a star who’s beloved by generations of audiences look good and really feel assured. Avoid them changing into the goal of social media mockery or pity. Have a coronary heart. Easy.
Au contraire! Award shows, with the competency of a toddler piloting a 737, often screw it up in cataclysmic fashion.
Look at what they did to poor Liza Minnelli, who introduced Best Picture at the Academy Awards in 2022 with Lady Gaga.
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The “Cabaret” icon, then 76, got here out in a wheelchair with flimsy notecards and was shaky with her phrases, at one level muttering, “What am I… I don’t understand.”
Gaga, kinda patronizing the entire time, leaned in and said, “I got you.”
But in Liza’s new memoir “Kids, Wait Till You Hear This,” the stage and screen performer says with fury that the fumble was all the Oscars’ fault.
“I was inexplicably ordered — not even asked — to sit in a wheelchair or not appear at all,” the Best Actress winner writes.
Sounds like a harmonious start!
Minnelli said she requested to sit in a director’s chair, but she was told she must use a wheelchair instead. Los Angeles Times via Getty Images
Liza needed to start seated in a tall, cloth director’s chair, which is more elegant and screams Hollywood.
“I used to be told it was because of my age, and for security causes, because I’d slip out of the director’s chair, which was bulls–t. I cannot be handled this method, I said.
“My co-presenter [Gaga, gulp] insisted she would not go on stage with me unless I was in a wheelchair. I was heartbroken.”
Liza, caught in a unhealthy romance, claims she was seated too low to clearly see the teleprompter, main her to seem mentally worse than she actually was.
Whatever occurred, you’d suppose the geniuses backstage would’ve found out every minute element of this second properly in advance. It’s Liza Minnelli, for God’s sake, and she wasn’t introducing Best International Short.
No, that could be an excessive amount of arduous work for the same boneheaded event that egregiously gave Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway the flawed envelope in 2017.
One of the most notorious moments in Oscars historical past got here when Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty announced the flawed Best Picture winner. Disney General Entertainment Content via Getty Images
Those bozos robbed the celebrities of “Bonnie and Clyde” of dignity by letting them announce the wrong Best Picture winner on live TV.
Like Liza, they have been set up to fail.
Off in the wings beforehand, a rep from the accounting firm PricewaterhouseCoopers handed Beatty, then 79, the cardboard for Best Actress instead of the one for the class he was presenting — Picture. The big kahuna.
When Beatty tore it open, the rightly confused pair noticed “Emma Stone — “La La Land.” So Dunaway, then 76, said — what else? — “La La Land.”
Whoops. “Moonlight” really gained the top honor, and it took minutes for the error to be corrected on air.
Offstage, Beatty was handed the wrong envelope and the error was corrected live on air. Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP
It’s one of the most notorious moments in Oscars historical past. Like “Dewey Defeats Truman,” besides no one actually cared who gained the Academy Award. What viewers bear in mind is that epic mistake.
And when people speak about it now, you never hear anyone blaming PricewaterhouseCoopers.
The music industry is just as moronic. Earlier this month, the Grammys made more chaos with Cher.
My colleague Andrea Peyser called the treatment of the “Believe” singer “elder abuse.” Too proper.
Cher said that Luther Vandross, who died in 2005, gained Record of the Year. Getty Images for The Recording Academy
Cher — fun-loving, care-to-the-wind Cher — went out onstage to obtain a lifetime achievement award. Yet unusually she didn’t get a glowing intro from another musician, or any preamble at all. We didn’t see an inspiring video of her through the a long time.
Host Trevor Noah just nonchalantly handed her the prize, like she was celebrating her fifth workplace anniversary at, properly, PricewaterhouseCoopers! Inexcusable.
Next, Cher was supposed to announce Record of the Year, but she walked off only to be awkwardly beckoned back by Noah.
And the winner is? “Luther Vandross!” she hollered. That’s an spectacular feat, as Luther Vandross died in 2005. Sure, the victor was Kendrick Lamar’s tune “Luther,” which is called after Vandross. But your complete show was a steaming pile of “huh?”
The Grammys producers have been most likely shaking their heads, saying, “If I could turn back time…”
Lucky for the Oscars, they still have 22 days to not mess it all up.
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