My husband expects me to take care of his elderly…
DEAR ABBY: I’m 58 and 5 years into my second marriage. We lived collectively a little over a 12 months earlier than getting married. I spent seven years as a caregiver for my mother and father earlier than marrying my present husband.
We moved to Kentucky from Florida as a result of his mother needed us close, however for the reason that transfer, he has change into somebody I hardly know. We lastly bought his extreme melancholy beneath control, however he has change into petty and vindictive. He’s form of a bully. He watches nothing however conspiracy principle videos on YouTube. I don’t know what to do. He wasn’t that approach after we dated.
I used to be planning on leaving in a couple of years, nevertheless it has gotten a little higher since he’s on the suitable meds. I need to rebuild my credit after the previous few years and save money. I’m placing most of my paycheck into a separate account. But it’s actually arduous to transfer previous these previous few horrible years. He expects me to take care of his mother, who deserted him as a youngster. I don’t need to. I actually dislike her. Am I flawed to nonetheless be considering of leaving? — STUCK NOWHERE
DEAR STUCK: Your husband could have married you so he’d have somebody to take care of his mom. You paid your dues for seven years along with your own mother and father. Remind your husband that you simply moved to Kentucky so HE, not you, may take care of his mother, and you’ll not permit him to foist her off on you. Keep salting your money away, and when you could have enough to make a new begin, resolve then whether or not you need to transfer on.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 20-something homosexual male who was seeing a man in his 50s who lives a couple hours away. For virtually two months, we spoke practically daily and noticed one another as time allowed. I assumed we had great chemistry, and I held him in high regard. (He even launched me to your column.)
Out of nowhere, he’s saying he feels solely friendship for me and that we aren’t in the identical place emotionally. It’s a whole intestine punch. I really feel like I did or stated one thing flawed, however I don’t know what it’s, so I’m blaming myself. I replay all our conversations and dates in my head, looking for the place I went flawed.
How do I break this cycle? And how can I permit myself to trust different males — particularly older males — after I really feel so burned by my interplay with Mr. Fifties? — TWENTY-SOMETHING IN TENNESSEE
DEAR TWENTY-SOMETHING: Please stop being so arduous on your self. Something absolutely occurred. Maybe the chemistry between the 2 of you wasn’t as sturdy as you thought it was. It’s additionally potential that he met somebody and didn’t have the braveness to be sincere about it. Whatever his cause, you could have no alternative however to settle for that the 2 of you weren’t in the identical place emotionally. It’s time to transfer on with out assuming that each one older males are the identical.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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