Kim Kardashians Alls Fair is a train wreck —…
Reality show star. Entrepreneur. Model. Serial spouse. Is there something Kim Kardashian can’t do?
Yes, act! She stars in a new legal drama, Ryan Murphy’s “All’s Fair,” that’s racked up an wonderful 0% ranking from critics on Rotten Tomatoes and is being called “the worst TV drama ever.”
“All’s Fair” is terrible in a approach that’s mind-boggling.
Now streaming on Hulu, the show stars Kardashian, Sarah Paulson, Glenn Close, Naomi Watts, Teyana Taylor and Niecy Nash-Betts, most of whom play members of a divorce law firm.
Kim Kardashian in the new legal drama “All’s Fair.” Disney
From left: Teyana Taylor, Sarah Paulson, Naomi Watts, Kim Kardashian and Niecy Nash-Betts at an event for the show in NYC on Oct. 28. Disney
One of the attorneys, Emerald (Nash-Betts), says strains that sound like a tedious self-help guide, like, “we stepped away from the patriarchy, and towards something of our own. Now, look at us!”
Kim performs the absurdly named Allura Grant, who provides her colleagues conversational prompts like, “Your favorite case of the last 10 years — go!”
Kim Kardashian, as Allura Grant, and Naomi Watts, as Grant’s consumer, in “All’s Fair.” Disney
Niecy Nash, Glenn Close, and Kim Kardashian in “All’s Fair.” Disney
Every artistic selection that went into “All’s Fair” is baffling. The stunt casting of Kardashian may need labored to draw eyeballs to the show’s posters. (She and her mother, Kris Jenner, are also among its exec producers). But that’s as far as it goes.
When Kardashian is on-screen, it seems like a unusual joke the viewers isn’t in on, watching her give mannequin-blank expressions and ship strains like “They don’t take divorce law or women seriously!” in a robotic monotone.
Is this supposed to be feminist? Is it camp? Does it suppose this is a “Scandal”-esque drama? To ponder the show’s aspirations is to put more thought into it than its creators clearly did.
Kim Kardashian and Niecy Nash in “All’s Fair.” Disney
Sarah Paulson, Kim Kardashian and Naomi Watts in “All’s Fair.” Disney
Every scene feels curated to be shared as a two-minute snippet on TikTook.
Nobody behaves like a real human being. When Allura’s boyfriend, Chase (Matthew Noszka), proposes and presents her with a diamond ring, her speedy response is, “Didn’t this belong to Elizabeth Taylor?”
Huh?
Chase replies, “I know how much you love her . . . even though I don’t know who she is.” He then says “come to daddy” as they awkwardly make out.
Matthew Noszka and Kim Kardashian in “All’s Fair.” Disney
Matthew Noszka in “All’s Fair.” Disney
Sarah Paulson and Glenn Close in “All’s Fair.” Disney
As the children say: Cringe. I had to pause it and look away for a minute. It’s arduous to say if I felt more embarrassed for the actors, the crew members who had to be there or myself as a viewer.
Following their initial nonsensical interplay, the next scene between Allura and Chase is an emotional breakup struggle.
We’ve been given no context for their relationship in between these disjointed scenes. There’s nothing to invest in, nothing to maintain on to. A nature documentary has more of a narrative than this.
A shout out to the New York Post, a faux Post cowl in “All’s Fair.” Hulu
Sarah Paulson in “All’s Fair.” Disney
The real actors are unable to save this trainwreck.
Paulson and Close are Hollywood heavyweights. Paulson provides a melodramatic efficiency that feels prefer it belongs in a high college play, shrieking strains like “Why can’t you choose me, why?!” and “Having me as an enemy is very unwise,” as she smashes knickknacks adorning an workplace.
Paulson is just one of many actors with weird overwrought performances, as if the show is attempting to steadiness out Kardashian’s affectless supply by having every other forged member weep and shout their strains.
Critics are unanimous. Lucy Mangan of the Guardian wrote, “I did not know it was still possible to make television this bad.”
The poster for “All’s Fair.” Disney
USA Today‘s Kelly Lawler called the drama “the worst TV show of the year,” while the Hollywood Reporter’s TV critic Angie Han called the collection “brain dead.”
Kardashian lately blamed ChatGPT for failing her bar examination, saying it always gave her fallacious solutions. Now she has one thing else to blame AI on — because I can’t consider a human truly wrote these scripts.
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