My husband blames everyone but himself for his…
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married to my husband for 10 years. Ever since I’ve identified him, he has had points with depression and anxiety. I’ve tried to help him through these diagnoses.
He has tried to go to therapy a number of instances, but he never sticks with it. Once the therapist will get to the purpose where they start to get into what he wants to work on, he quits. He claims no one understands what he’s going through. This has impacted every facet of his life — sleep, eating habits and his controlling perspective toward me. He also works out excessively (like 5 hours a day).
It has also affected his skill to take pleasure in life and his job. He takes a lot of time off work, claiming he wants the remaining, but he doesn’t relaxation. He does other issues. When I say he wants to go to work like all people else, he will get mad. His employer is now on his case for extreme absences. He refuses to take duty and says his employer is “targeting him.” Nothing is ever his fault. There is always an excuse.
This has significantly affected our marriage and his relationships with our two kids, who actually need their dad around, but he’s not. I’m a counselor. I see narcissistic tendencies in his conduct. I really like him very a lot, and he has not always been like this. I don’t need to stop on him, but I don’t know what to do. I can’t continue to live like this, and I need to help our youngsters live their best lives. Please help. — LIKE A SINGLE PARENT IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR SINGLE PARENT: I’m sure that, as a therapist, you understand you may’t help somebody who refuses to be helped. It is time to put the welfare of your kids first. Give your husband an ultimatum: Get help for his points and stick with it, or you might be leaving and taking the kids with you. The ambiance you’ve got described is unhealthy for them and for you as effectively.
P.S. As I’m sure you might be conscious, some counselors have therapists. Please think about enlisting some emotional help for your self as you make your means through this.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve a good friend whom I really like and take pleasure in being with. However, when we spend prolonged durations of time together, such as a few days on a journey, it doesn’t work effectively because of our personalities and perception systems. She shouldn’t be conscious of the struggles I’ve when spending more than a few hours with her and recurrently invitations me to go on journeys with her. I’ve put her off a few instances without telling her the reality. Is there a well mannered means to inform her that I’d somewhat not go on a journey with her? — BRIEFLY IN DELAWARE
DEAR BRIEFLY: Tell your good friend that you’re keen on her and take pleasure in being with her, but that if it includes leaving home for any size of time it makes you “anxious.” You don’t have to clarify any additional. You might, however, have to chorus from telling her about any journey you do with other, more suitable pals.
DEAR READERS: Happy 250th birthday to the USA! Let’s all take pleasure in a protected and comfortable Fourth of July!
P.S. Wishing a Happy Heavenly Birthday to you, Mom! — LOVE, ABBY
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also identified as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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